We all want to tread the path that the Guru has laid out for us. Our Gurudev also wants the same thing. But then, where do we fall short? Why does it so happen that we set out to become such a divine manifestation but are unable to make it to the end of the road?
Once, Kuldananda, a disciple of Guru Krishna Goswami, approached him and pleaded as to why he was unable to become what his Guru wanted him to be, why he was unable to do what his Guru expected him to do, why despite how hard he tried, all his trials dissolve in futility, why his imperfections render him unable to fulfill his goals? On hearing this, the Guru became serious and in a serious tone he said, "Kuldananda, I will tell you one irrefutable truth of the universe today. Listen carefully".
The Guru said if a disciple is rendered helpless before a situation, or a samskara within himself (past karmic impression), if he is unable to become what his Guru desires of him, then there are only two reasons for such an outcome. First, that the Guru is incomplete. Second, the disciple's devotion is incomplete! He then asked Kuldananda which of the two reasons applies to him. Kuldananda folded his hands in supplication, and with tears flowing down his face, he submitted that he himself was incomplete and that he was unable to tread the path shown by his Guru. He fell at his Guru's feet and begged to show him the way to right conduct towards the attainment of his goal of discipleship and to make him understand as to what he should do so that he can become what his Guru wanted him to be. Placing His hand on Kuldananda's head, Guru Krishna Goswami asked him to sit in deep meditation and said he would find all his answers in that process.
Kuldananda sat as instructed by his guru and almost immediately, the voice of his soul became distinct and a subtle dialogue began deep within his consciousness. The conversation went as follows:
Soul – Kuldananda, who are you?
Kuldananda – I am a disciple.
Soul – A disciple? What is the basis of the existence of a disciple?
Kuldananda – The basis of the existence of a disciple is his Guru.
Soul – Then Kuldananda, what should be the place of a Guru in the life of a disciple?
Kuldananda – THE PRIME PLACE!
Soul – You say Guru's place is the PRIME place, but have you given your Guru the prime place? Have you given your Guru that regard and position? Do you remember who you were supposed to follow when you stepped on this spiritual path? It was your Guru, but you got lost in the world that was created by your Guru himself. You forgot that all these things and relations derive their existence from the Guru, not the other way around. You forgot that you were supposed to live for your Guru and observe the tenets laid down by Him. Your Guru gave you everything he had on the very first day. He waited at the door of your heart so that you would offer him that place to establish inside your being. But you gave that place to someone or the other and your Guru was left waiting. Tell me, how will you become that which he [your Guru] wants you to be?
The thick veil of ignorance began to diffuse. Kuldananda opened his eyes and ran to his Guru. He fell at his feet and supplicated "Kindly pardon me for the sin I have committed. I had come to question you without looking inside my own being. You showered immense blessings and grace on me, but I could not value them because of my own malice. He asked for Guru's forgiveness. The ever-generous Gurudev said, "Kuldananda, go and collect all that treasure, all that wealth that I have showered on you. I am still waiting for you. Collect all those virtues and principles. The day you are able to imbibe them all, that day, I will enter your heart and establish myself there. I will make you my own reflection!
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